A View From The Keg…

Note: this post was originally started back in January. Its relevance is even greater today…

Another day, another debate. The endless stream of media dis-information continues. I say dis-information, because none of these folks (er, candidates) can actually answer a question. Oh, they sure make it sound as though they’re giving an answer, and their mouths are moving, and words are coming out. But they absolutely, positively are not giving an answer to whatever question they have been asked. Let me clarify: by answer, I mean a straight answer.

We deserve a straight answer to simple, straightforward questions. Instead, we get this:

Question: Would you, on the first day of your presidency, crack down on people who are in this country illegally?

Answer choices: Yes or no, followed by brief elaboration.

Actual Candidate Answer: Well, that’s a very complicated question. If you mean would I move to strengthen US border security, which is where the real trouble lies, and would I enlist the help of Congress in this matter, well then I’d have to say that I believe a president can only do so much to…

Yeah. I see. And you want to become president because you’re fed up with the ways of Washington. (Note that this candidate rattled on for nearly 2 minutes without ever answering the question, or any other question that could have been interpolated from the original question).

A presidential candidate can obfuscate the answer to any question. (The perfect word to describe what any candidate for any office does with any question, obfuscate is defined as “to make so confused or opaque as to be difficult to perceive or understand”). I think that’s actually in the party guidelines for prospective candidates: “must have complete and total understanding of the concept of obfuscation and be able to put it into practice even when ordering breakfast”. To steal a phrase from John Stossel, give me a break.

I’ve had the privilege of voting in every presidential election since 1978. I have to say, I have heard the same issues discussed in every election since then. Actually, in every election in my lifetime since I became politically aware (I really became aware during the ‘68 elections, but I was first interested in politics during the ‘64 Goldwater-LBJ contest). In spite of decades of dealing with the same issues, very little has actually been solved! How is this possible? How could we all be so fooled into thinking that what we actually say come election day will make any difference at all? How can we blame the populace for just turning off to presidential politics after all the politicians have subjected us to?

This primary election cycle (aka “The Endless Job Interview”) has brought more people to the polls than I’ve seen in the past, and more new voters in particular. That’s a very good thing. Perhaps it means that the nation is finally willing to get involved again. But we’re still living in a semi-delusional state if we choose to believe things are actually going to change anytime in the near future. I don’t see any candidate with the cajones (or the ability to reach across party lines) to make that happen.

We face a number of problems that are easy to talk about fixing, but very difficult to actually fix in a nation of 300 million plus people. Like it or not, that’s reality. Here are a few of those problems, followed by the brilliant suggestions put forth from our candidates:

• Gas prices too high? Let’s rescind the federal gasoline tax for a time, that will surely help. (Truth is, in the long run, that will create more problems than it will solve. Funds for infrastructure repair come from the gasoline tax, and our infrastructure is in dire need of repair in some places – ever drive the Pennsylvania turnpike?).
• Food prices rising too rapidly? Let’s continue to look the other way while we subsidize growing corn and other grains to use for fuel. (And while we’re at it, let’s continue top look at electric cars as the “way of the future” and forget about cajoling the oil companies to get involved in the real way of the future – hydrogen. No pollution, no dead batteries to end up in landfills, cheaper in the long run).
• Economy sputtering toward recession? Let’s have a moratorium on foreclosures, that will help people who are hurting. (Well, I’m all for helping people who are hurting through no fault of their own – and I know they’re out there. But as for those who took silly risks, intentionally purchased homes they could not afford, or purchased with interest only loans in the hopes of refinancing later or selling at a ridiculous profit before the loan was due, that’s tough. I can imagine your pain. But that’s a risk you chose to take! And I don’t want my tax dollars going to bail you out of your own stupidity or my elected officials wasting their time trying to fix your problem. No one’s ever done that for me – and believe me, as a musician, there have been times when I could have used the government’s help).
• Health insurance too expensive or unobtainable? Let’s institute a national health policy and force everyone to purchase insurance. (The debate over this issue should have started in the 1960’s, when we had a realistic chance of accomplishing this without great difficulty. I firmly believe it’s high time for us to have some form of national health insurance, but I don’t hear anyone putting forth a plan that’s truly workable. And don’t start telling me about how “every other industrialized nation has national health insurance”. This may well be true, but how many of them are nations of over 300 million? China? India? You cannot compare the situation in the USA to the UK, Canada, Germany, France, or any of the other countries held up as an example for us to follow).

So what are we to do? For one, we all should read a book called “The World Is Flat” by Thomas Freeman. This book looks at many of the problems we currently face – and the misinformation being fed to us about them – from a clear and studied point of view. I think, too, that once we’ve read this book, we should to ask our presidential candidates if they’ve read this book. If they haven’t, then I don’t think they have an accurately informed picture of what’s going on in the world today.

We need to begin to listen to ideas from people outside of Washington, because the ideas coming from inside Washington are too often formed in a system where special interests and small segments of the populace have too much influence. We need non-partisan, not bi-partisan, solutions to our troubles. We need to look outside the box our elected officials have built for themselves. And although the possibility for achieving those things exists in this election, I find myself more and more afraid that it still won’t happen this time around.

It’s the last Friday before Christmas, and I see on the news that people are filling the roads, airports, and shopping malls. I’m about to find out exactly how many people are filling the malls, because I’m preparing to head out to complete my Christmas shopping. Believe it or not, I’m actually ahead of schedule this year, as I usually wait until Christmas Eve to do my shopping. That practice began as an offshoot of my tendency to procrastinate, but evolved into something I looked forward to and enjoyed for many years. I found those trips helped put me in the holiday spirit.

I would come home from those Christmas Eve shopping trips and see news reports of how crazy everything was out in the stores, about the throngs of people crowding the checkout lines. I’d always ask myself “What stores did they visit?”, because I actually never saw the insanity they spoke of in all my years of Christmas Eve shopping. Everyone seemed to be civil and very focused on the task at hand. As a result, things were moving smoothly, and I was always in and out in no more time than a non-holiday trip to the mall. I also noticed that my fellow shoppers were mostly men. Hmm…

I have developed a theory as to why these trips went smoothly – from an evolutionary standpoint, men are basically hunters. As such, we go shopping with distinct goals, and we move to carry out those goals as quickly as possible. This isn’t meant to imply that women cannot be hunters (though there is evidence to support the “women are gatherers” theory). In fact, my wife is more of a hunter than a gatherer, and she usually shops in a similar fashion to me – when she’s alone. When we shop together, the gatherer in her comes out, and we take (what I believe to be) far too long to get what we came to get and go. So, according to my theory, (which, by the way, is in need of a name) my Christmas Eve shopping trips were made easier by the fact that the malls were filled with a majority of men, most of whom know exactly what they want, exactly where it can be found at the best price, and the perfect place to park to make the walk to where their “prey” lies waiting as short as possible. All of these actions, individually insignificant, combine to make a shopping trip fast and hassle free. Yes, there can be lines at the checkout. This is inevitable. But, as a result of extensive pre-planning, we come armed with only one credit or debit card to use, which we already know has enough room for whatever purchase we’re making. Moreover, because we’re usually only shopping for an item or two, we can use any express line that may be available at the store.

Now before I get slammed with a bunch of comments and e-mails berating me for implying that men are superior shoppers to women, let me state for the record that this is not the case! I believe that women are far better shoppers than men. It’s just that I am not talking about shopping here – I’m talking about hunting. Men don’t, as a rule, shop. We hunt. So I suppose I should call my Christmas Eve trips to the mall hunting trips, not shopping trips.

In our household, I do the grocery shopping, I mean hunting, because: a) I’m faster, b) I’m usually better at finding the cheapest price, and c) I have a more flexible daytime schedule which allows me to hunt when there are fewer people around. Now you may say “Timm, maybe that’s why you’re faster – there are fewer people around”, but it actually doesn’t matter what time I go to the store, I am still faster. And I can get my wife to back me up on this point. If anything, my daytime trips should take more time, as I’m sharing the aisles with senior citizens for whom shopping is a day long event which moves at a snail’s pace (no offense intended).

So now, as I hit prepare to hit the mall in search of that elusive Christmas prey, allow me to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas. And, to all the men out there, happy hunting. You’d better get a move on!

It’s taken me some days to wrap my head around Sean Taylor’s senseless death. It’s almost as though someone I knew well has passed away. And it sucks.

I’m only a fan, but I feel a kinship with the Redskins as a result of my father’s time working with them. Perhaps that’s why I feel like I do. I only hope this act helps a few other NFL players to wake up to the reality of their situations. They are all extremely fortunate. They are all vulnerable. They are all only human.

As this event has shown us, you don’t have to be living a dangerous lifestyle to be taken down in your prime. It can happen anytime or anyplace – even in your own home. But if you live as some of these fellows do, it’s as though you were asking for it.

Sean Taylor wasn’t asking for it. Maybe this will help some of those who seem to be asking for it to live their lives a little differently.

I’ll miss you Sean.

I was in the grocery store two days ago. They were playing Christmas music.On November 19. CHRISTMAS MUSIC! ON NOVEMBER 19!

I’m distraught, so please forgive my rant. I do not believe what the world has come to. I do not believe how much I sound like my parents. I do not believe we are allowing ourselves to be marketed to in this fashion. It’s ridiculous. I would be feeling differently had I heard the season’s first music on November 23, but it was NOVEMBER 19! And I won’t even go into how the stores have been decorated for Christmas since Halloween.

Anyway, I have found a means of revolt; a way for all of us to try and regain our holiday spirit. Here it is:

I believe this is a new holiday that could really take off. After all, most everyone already has the Friday after Thanksgiving off, right?

So tell your friends, tell your families. Repeat after me: “I will buy nothing on November 23, I will buy nothing on November 23, I will buy nothing on November 23, I will …”

At least check out the website.

Happy Thanksgiving / Buy Nothing Days.

Halloween is over and Christmas decorations are up in the stores. Actually, they were up in some stores along with the Halloween costumes and candy. What’s the world coming to?! I suppose there’s only so much money to be made from Thanksgiving (after all, how much can we really eat), so retailers have been deciding to focus on Christmas as soon as they reasonably can. But I’m here to tell you: HALLOWEEN IS TOO SOON to be marketing Christmas decorations!! That’s not reasonable AT ALL!

On another note, I think I now understand the addiction that is People magazine. After returning home from my last trip to the grocery store, I found copies of People and Us in the bottom of one of my bags. My first thought was “they better not have charged me for these”, as I didn’t buy them (honest!). I have no idea how they got into the bags that became mine, but they didn’t charge me for them, so I suppose that’s my windfall of good luck for the month.

The magazines have been sitting on the kitchen table for a few days, and I’ve been having my breakfast with Keith Urban’s smiling face staring up at me while I read Newsweek. But today all that changed. I actually opened it up and started to browse. Browsing turned to actually reading, and now I am a walking source of information on the Backstreet Boys reunion, Spice Girls exercise tips (I can imagine that having 7 babies between you really does require exercise to get back into spice girl shape), Jane Seymour’s plastic surgery (breast implants so small they had to be special ordered), and, sadly, the deaths of Porter Waggoner and Robert Goulet. It was addicting. reading the first story led me to read the next. And the next. It took a great deal of strength to stop and get back to work after breakfast.

I can see how easy it would be for someone to get hooked on these things. There is a certain voyeuristic joy to be gained from reading the sordid details of someone’s life, which is only made better when that someone is rich and famous. How nice to know that these folks suffer just as we do. How sad to know that it takes a lot of money to fix the problems they deal with. So we’re made happy, then sad – all in the course of one story. So we go to the next story, hoping to find something to make us feel better in our miserable, little, normal-person lives. (Note that I do not think that a “normal-person life” is necessarily little or miserable, it’s just that after spending 15 minutes reading People I feel that way temporarily.) And so the addiction grows. It’s like a bag of the best potato chips you’ve ever had – you can’t stop.

Luckily, I was able to pull myself away just in the nick of time. I mean, I was on the verge of calling the Home Shopping Network to see if I could special order some implants.

I’m still going through withdrawls.

Let me begin by saying I am a die-hard Washington Redskins fan, and I’ve been waiting for a Redskins game like last night’s victory over Philly for quite awhile now. Not because of the victory, although that was sweet. It’s because of Jason Campbell. I really think we’ve got a stellar player there, something we’ve needed for a long, long time. To be honest, we could’ve lost the game and I would still be optimistic about this season. That’s because I believe that steady, consistent growth is one of the most important things in football, just as it is in life. In the past 2 weeks, I’ve seen that growth in Jason Campbell, and the team as a whole. And that’s something for Redskins fans to feel good about.

Feeling good about whatever little progress the Redskins make is something I know a little about. You see, I first became a die-hard fan in the 60’s, when the only title they seemed to be consistently vying for was last place. We took solace in the exploits of Sonny and Sam on the field in those days – not in the booth. I was intimately acquainted with the Redskins of Otto Graham, felt a sense of hope with the arrival of Vince Lombardi, then a sense of loss when he died the next year. And I was only 11 years old! Still, I supported my team, believed George Allen when he said that “the future is now”, and watched as he turned things around. When Joe Gibbs arrived, the memory of the lean years melted away. It looked as though the Redskins dynasty of the 80’s would last forever. Sadly, we know this was not the case. Nor can it ever be the case in pro sports, entertainment, or life. Things change, and others get their shot at being number 1.

It’s not surprising for a kid to become so enamoured of his home town sports team, but I had a slightly different perspective than most of the other kids my age. You see, my father worked part-time for the Washington Redskins for 35 years. During that time, he was primarily a roadie for the Redskins Band, and being a young musician, that was pretty cool to me. I got to go to band practice with him, listen to the guys play, and occasionally come away with a used cymbal that was being replaced. The band practiced at the D.C. Armory during the fall and winter, and I just loved the way it sounded in there. (Years later, I recall spending way too much time during one of my first records as a producer searching for a reverb sound similar to the reverb I used to hear in the Armory during those practices.) For the last several years of his time with the Redskins, he raised the net for field goals. He learned to watch the game from the end zone, seeing holes open up and plays develop from a perspective that few people ever get to see. He was even nearly ejected once for questioning a ref’s call in the back of the end zone! Needless to say, I was extremely proud of him that day.

Dad and the other fellows in the crew were paid for their efforts with perhaps the most valuable thing in D.C. during football season : 2 tickets to every game, including pre-season and the playoffs. As a result, I grew up going to Redskin games from the time I was in grade school. I remember catching the bus with my mother and riding to RFK (then D.C.) Stadium, watching the game, then hooking up with my dad and the other members of the “utility crew” as they were called, hanging out in the parking lot tailgating until the lot cleared and we could leave without a fuss.

My sister and I would trade off going to the games, and there was always a bit of an argument over who would go to the Dallas game. I feel like I went to the majority of games in those days, though it’s more likely to have been an even split. As we grew older and could go on our own, I did wind up going to the majority of games, but there was still the traditional “who’s going to to the Dallas game” argument, and she got to go to some of the classic ‘Skins – Cowboys games.

I could spend weeks writing about the years I spent going to Redskins games, but that’s not what this post is about. It’s really about believing in something and grabbing the joy that presents itself to us along the way. I believe in the Redskins, just as I believe in my ability as a musician. When I’m making music and have a moment that’s truly magical, I cherish it. When the Redskins show some progress, I cherish it.

You know the old saying “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game”? It may seem trite, but I realize more and more that it’s true. This adage could be modified for musicians to read “It’s not whether you blow someone away, but how you play the tune”.

The Redskins played the tune pretty well in Philadelphia last night.

It’s been well over a month since I’ve posted to the blog. I guess you could say I took a bit of a vacation from blogging, but that wouldn’t really be true. I’ve actually been doing a lot of thinking about this post (and others soon to come) over the past few weeks…

As we enter “vacation season”, I find myself wondering why I don’t take more vacation time. As you may already know, compared to the rest of the “industrialized world”, we Americans as a whole don’t take much vacation time at all. I’ve been wondering if my lack of desire to sit on a beach or mountainside somewhere doing nothing comes more from my culture than myself. If that’s the case, I suppose I’m more of an American than I think I am. This started me thinking about how much my American culture has influenced other areas of my thinking.

Having lived in other parts of the world (albeit for relatively brief periods of time), I’ve fancied myself more of a “world citizen” than an American citizen. Sure, I vote here. I take up sides in political debate here, and I’m not 100% up on what’s happening in other parts of the planet at all times. Still, I feel more like a citizen of Earth than a citizen of the USA a lot of the time. I think this is because I worry about the ramifications of certain policies various governments maintain. I worry about our ability to join together in the event of some planetary disaster. I also worry about the way people seem overly threatened by those of different religious and political persuasions. I mean, aren’t we really all the same under the skin? Don’t we all share the same concerns for the present and the future? Don’t we all have some tie to the past that is very important to each of us? I think we do.

During my travels, I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to talk to people from all over the planet. For example, I was in Germany with the Deanna Bogart Band as the Berlin wall was coming down. We even played at one of the celebrations on the night of the official Reunification which, believe it or not, wasn’t as joyous as the press would lead us to believe. We also played at a technology conference in East Germany to people who had never seen real live Americans before. Our accommodations for this performance were in a school which still had posters on the wall outlining what to do in the event of various emergencies – including nuclear attack. The type of emergency was transmitted to the people via various warning sirens which were not unlike our own civil defense siren alerts, although there were many more of them to memorize. (In a moment of weakness, I took one of the posters from the wall and brought it home with me. It hung in my studio for many years, and now waits in my garage for the appropriate spot to be displayed again). I talked with young people in East Germany who had lived their entire lives unable to take a 20 minute train trip to the next town, just because it was on the other side of the wall. I talked to Russian, East German, and Czechoslovakian soldiers as they sat on their tanks waiting to leave town after so many years, and had the chance to rent picks and hammers to break off parts of the Berlin Wall before they hauled it away. I once watched a gentleman who was acting as our guide cry like a baby while he was looking at a rather large mural of Lenin in the stairwell of a building we were playing in. I asked what was wrong, and he said ” I am crying because tomorrow they take this mural down. I have waited all my life for that moment”. I will never forget that.

Recalling those people I met in East Germany makes me think: how many of us have waited all our lives for one moment? I mean, really waited all our lives for one moment? Yes, we all wait at times for various things, but I think part of our trouble is caused by the simple fact that the majority of us have not had to wait all our lives (or even a significant portion of our lives) for one certain moment. We’ve forgotten how possessing the ability to endure can strengthen us. Our society has evolved into one where we can have practically anything we want at practically any time. When I find myself whining because my Internet connection is only operating at 4MB per second (which, as point of reference for my impatience, rarely happens for more than a couple hours), or because I forgot something at the store and have to go back for it, I realize there is no excuse for it. Problem is, I usually don’t realize this at the time! I need to change that.

I don’t think for a second that merely learning the value of patience or what truly matters will miraculously change the culture of our country, let alone the world. But maybe it’s a place we can start. Tolerance and intolerance are both learned – we do not inherently possess them at birth (although a baby can seem pretty intolerant of having to wait for its feeding). I like to think that I am on the path toward conquering my intolerance, but I know I still have a long way to go.

You may be asking what all of these seemingly random observations have to do with my initial thoughts about vacation? It’s simple: you see, my wife and I are about to begin making our vacation plans. And I need to become more tolerant.

I am on my way to the April 28th James Mabry Band show in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. I have been on my way now for some time – which is to say it’s taken a bit longer than expected. The reason? A broken airplane. Now tell me, how many of you want to hear that during a flight delay?

I thought something was a bit strange when I was told the gate for this flight (which I take pretty often) was 9 – not 21 as is customary. Well, after waiting for about 30 minutes, we were told there had been a gate change – to 21! I hadn’t planned to be part of a foot race this day, so I was wearing sandals (which make it much easier to move through security). Even so, I managed to lose only a couple spots in the Southwest “cattle call” line. I was feeling pretty happy about that, when the ‘broken plane’ announcement was made. After asking if there was another flight available any sooner than the approximated 1 hour delay, (and finding none), I settled in for the wait. Soon after, there was another announcement that detailed the needed part’s route from Cleveland (I think), and that it was a navigational part that has a 30 minute installation time. I must say, I was glad it wasn’t a nose gear, wing flap, or some other more complicated piece of machinery! Things were looking better than I thought.

At this point, I’ve got to say that Southwest was very good about offering options, keeping us informed, etc. And, most importantly, they were great about getting the job done – ahead of schedule! That being said, we were still about an hour later than expected. Not too bad in this day and age, I think.

After this experience, however, I find myself dreading flying more than I ever have before. You see, prior to my flight in March (which was cancelled, forcing me to drive to the OTWC gig), I have been on only 2 delayed flights before. Yes, that’s right – 2!

The first was when I was a kid and my grandfather passed away. We had to fly to my father’s home town on Christmas day through Chicago O’Hare – a feat not for the weak of heart at any time, I tell you. But on Christmas, and in a snow storm? Well, let’s just say that the ensuing 8 hour delay was probably more fun for my sister and me than it was for my parents.

The second flight delay I experienced was during my time with Paul Reed Smith’s Dragons. We were doing a gig every Tuesday night at the Hard Rock Cafe in NYC. Most of the time, I took the train with Paul, which is a very comfortable and sane way to travel between Washington, D.C. and New York. On one particular occasion though, I had to fly. I met our guitarist Michael Ault at Reagan National for what I though would be an uneventful, 45 minute flight to the gig. All seemed well, though I seem to remember it raining pretty heavily. We’re on the plane and pulling away from the gate, when the announcement of a ‘gate hold’ is made. Now, I’d always thought a gate hold meant you were sitting at the gate. But in this case, it meant sitting in the middle of the runway for well over an hour. At one point, I turned to Michael and said, “Man, this never happens to me”. In a very sad voice, Michael replied “It happens to me all the time”. And we’d always wondered why he was often late to the NYC gig!

Believe me, I have flown a lot over the years. One year, I clocked close to 500,000 miles between touring, visiting home and recording trips around the globe. So it’s not as though I’m a neophyte. Nor do I believe that I’ve been lucky, though I’m sure many of you are thinking just that. I think the reason for my so-called good fortune is this: I did the bulk of my flying in the 70’s, 80’s, and early 90’s – and things were very, very different then. Especially in the 70’s and 80’s. I’ve taken flights to Europe that were less than half full, where I could stretch out across a row of 5 seats and sleep the whole way (on several occasions). I used to fly the Eastern shuttle from DC to NYC when you filled out your ticket yourself (by hand), walked onto the plane, and then paid for the flight in the air ($35.00 one way!). I think I’ve flown every airline that’s no longer in business, too (Pan Am, Braniff, Piedmont, and Eastern, just to name a few). In those days, flying still had some of the cool left in it. Now, there isn’t much of a difference between flying and riding a Greyhound bus (which I’ve done several times, too), other than security.

How can we expect an industry that moves so many people in so many different directions everyday to get it right every time? It’s an impossibility! And though we seem to only hear of the increase in delays, lost luggage, and the loss of creature comforts, I’d like to go on record as saying that – in my experience – they do a pretty good job. In this day and age of increased security, unassigned seating, and mounting fuel costs, I think it’s amazing that more airlines aren’t going under. Or that the government hasn’t jumped in to re-regulate them. Heaven forbid!

When I started writing, I did so with the intention of complaining fervently about the current state of the airline industry. As I’ve been writing and mulling it over, I find myself just wanting to say “thanks”. Thanks for getting me from point A to point B all these many years without too many problems. Keep up the good work. Oh, I’ll still dread flying more than I have in the past. But this has more to do with the way the world is today than with the airlines messing things up. After all, planes are only mechanical, and people are only human.

Tax Day is upon us.

OK, so maybe you did your taxes some weeks (or months) ago, and you’re kicking back and enjoying the frenzy created by those of us who wait until the last minute. No matter – it’s still tax day, so indulge me. I know that, thanks to a calendar quirk and the little celebrated “Emancipation Day”, it’s technically tomorrow. For me, however, it’s today. I guess I’m finally losing my status as a serious procrastinator by not holding off until the last minute.

You see, being a self-employed individual, taxes are rather different for me. While the majority pay into the system via payroll deductions, we must pay in on a quarterly basis. Or on Tax Day, if the total amount due is under a thousand dollars. As a result, the self-employed have a tendency to actually live by the credo everyone should, which is “do not allow yourself to get a large refund” (which amounts to allowing the government to use your cash through the year without paying you any interest). We also recite the mantra“owe as little as possible at the end of the year” regularly. So why is this a better way to be?

For starters, most accountants suggest that you strive to fall into a $500.00 “bubble” – either the government owes you $500.00, or you owe them $500.00. If that’s the way things turn out, you’re operating in a relatively “neutral” position. Achieving this means that, over the course of the year, you’ll actually get to bring home more of your dough. Seems like a good idea, right? Still, the majority of us like to get that cash windfall we call a refund. Why is that? Most likely, it’s because we have such a difficult time saving money. But think of it – if you were to have a small portion of that “extra” income you’d receive by setting up your withholding properly in the first place automatically deposited into a savings account, you’d find yourself in a slightly better position at the end of a year than you do by waiting for the government to send you the money it’s saved for you through taking too much from your check. And if you were to have that extra money deposited into a money market account, you’d end up better still. It’s all about interest. Which, I doubt, the government will ever pay us for the use of our overpayments.

You may ask what does a musician (let alone a drummer) know about all this stuff? Believe it or not, it’s because I read, research, and ask questions. I also happen to run Timm Biery Enterprises, and one of my endeavors has, over the years,  evolved into a consulting firm for small businesses (read: self employed individuals) which focuses on maximizing income vs. expenses. As a result, I’m pretty comfortable discussing tax issues with accountants and the IRS. In all my conversations with “big brother”, I have to say that I’ve learned that they do not want us to fail in business. They want (in fact, they need) our success. Success increases the tax base, which gives the scoundrels in Congress more money to spend on their pet projects. But that’s another post.

I think it’s time that all of us, from government worker to record producer, store clerk to postal worker, to start thinking like a self employed individual when it comes to taxes. While you may not be able to write off the myriad things an officially self employed person can, it just may change your way of thinking about where your money goes after it’s deducted from your paycheck. After all, you may be paid for working at a company but, at the end of the day, you’re working for you. And that, to some extent, makes all of us self-employed.

Okay,

So I’m on the phone with my uncle (an electronics genius), discussing the ‘ghost’ problem. The batteries have been removed from the remote and it’s safely stored in another room. I come into the living room and – the TV comes on!! Now, I have to say that at this point, I’m really thinking it’s something electronic (or at least I want to). I turn it off, and we decide to pull the plug for the night. If there’s a ghost around, it’s either going to: A) plug the thing back in and just go on watching it, or B) get really mad and get down to some serious haunting, rather than simply attempting to freak us out with a TV. Which, by the way, it’s done a fair job of to this point.

Now my uncle is a very smart, pragmatic man. He told me that he remembered reading about garage doors opening when Sputnik would fly over houses. He told me that today’s remote controls could conceivably be strong enough to control our TV from a distance, so it could be a neighbor. We discussed electro-magnetism, and just about any other possibility you could think of. Then, he told me the one thing that really made me feel better. He said even if it were a ghost visiting, he couldn’t remember a ghost ever hurting anybody. I thought it was an appropriate thing to say, but it didn’t make my wife feel much better, that’s for sure.

The computer was shut down, the TV was unplugged, and we made it through the night without incident. After my morning computing, I plug the thing back in. A short time later, I’m on the phone with a client, and I hear the unmistakable sound of the TV coming on. I hold my cool and finish the conversation, then immediately turn to trying to figure out what could be wrong. I’m pretty good at trouble shooting. It’s actually an acquired skill, one that I learned from nearly 17 years running a recording studio. So I try what I think is a good first step – turn it off via the power button. Trouble is, the thing doesn’t turn off. I push it again, nothing. Again, nothing. I reach for the remote control, push its off button – and the TV turns off. Could all this really just be the power switch on the TV? Could Sony actually make a defective power switch? As of now, it’s looking as though that could be the answer. A ‘ghost in the machine’, to quote our friend Sting.

I liked it better when I thought we had a ghost in the room…